The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

If you read my first post then you should already be aware that my life has its… up and downs. I figure what better way to delve into whom I truly am than by diving head first into three separate circumstances that have lead me to where I am today. 

The Good

Best to start with the happy stuff, amirite? 

Well, as for the good, I’ve been blessed enough that I was able to recently take a solo trip to Europe. While it was a relatively short trip (only a week) it was not lost on me that I am extremely blessed to have had that experience. 

I spent 3 days in Brussels, Belgium and 3 days in Paris, France. I went over with a complete lack of knowledge for the local languages (Flemmish & French) and cultures. Admittedly, I am mostly to blame. I yearned for an experience where I would be put in a situation in which I had no choice but to survive in a strange land.

Needless to say, it was a fantastic trip in which I met a multitude of individuals from all over the world while also learning about Belgian and French culture. However, the biggest takeaway from this experience, other than how beautiful Paris truly is, is that I am a strong, free spirited person that is capable of surviving anything. 

The Bad

Everything can’t be perfect I guess..

As I mentioned in my first post, I have a lack of people that I can consider to be true friends in the city that I live. 

I moved to Raleigh, NC a little over six months ago. While this isn’t the first time I’ve lived in this city, it is the first time in 5 years that I’ve been here. Needless to say, all of the friends from my first stent in the Oak City are all now elsewhere. 

I came back to this area for two reasons, none of which had anything to do with friends. Those reasons are probably not too dissimilar to how you, the reader, landed at the place you are at right now: a better job and a better quality of life. 

While I do enjoy my job, it has put a damper on a lot of opportunities to meet new people. I do tend to miss not having a close knit group that I can confide in when needed. 

The Ugly

Well here goes.. 

On April 1 of this year, I finally had no choice but to put my foot down and tell my wife (ex-wife?) that she needed to get out of our house. 

Now I know what you guys at home are thinking…. “But you said that it wasn’t entirely your idea to get a divorce.”

Well, it wasn’t really. Telling her to leave was months, if not years, in the making and had nothing to do with me not wanting to be with her in that relationship. It was about allowing her to be free of the responsibilities that a married women carries with her that she had come to loathe. 

She wanted to party all weekend long, and party hard at that, as well as wanting to be with new people. She, in fact, was already doing most of these things. Whether she was physically cheating with another man at the time is still something I’m not sure about. Frankly, I don’t care to know. 

The choice to apply for a divorce was not something I wanted to do. I was still emotionally invested in the marriage and wanted to work to make things better.  However, at the rate things were going, she already was checked out from the marriage and it was only going to be a matter of time until I came home to find another man in my bed. 

Until a person has felt the agony of your closest confidant, your best friend, the love of your life, say to your face that they want to be with other people because they no longer find you physically attractive, then you have no clue about true the meaning of pain. It isn’t  a pain that can be solved  with a pill or a bandage. It is a pain that cuts deep into your soul. 

~N

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